- 1 Stick Butter (we may, or may not, use it all…)
- 1 small, white onion (or medium, white onion, if you like onion, maybe even a large white onion if you’re feeding the whole office – but make sure the onions are of the white variety, as they have the strongest flavor)
- 1 lb of Prestige® Ground Beef – 80/20 blend
- 4 – slices of American cheese (using any other cheese is un-American, and anything Un-American is un-acceptable – per Steve-O)
- 2 – 4″ “Rotella” brand buns (they GOTTA be Rotella buns, or it ain’t “Steve-O’s Double Smash” – also per Steve-O)
- Ketchup (Red Gold is preferred, when available, but Heinz will work)
- Miracle Whip + Texas Pete (mix it to taste – Why? Because it elevates the “tangy zip”)
- Mustard (French’s yellow mustard or bust)
- Sliced Dill Pickles
Prepare all ingredients first; this burger will come together fast. Chop, don’t dice, the onion. Portion the 1 lb of Prestige® ground beef into approx 1/4 lb balls. Butter and lightly toast both sides of the bun while pre-heating the pan or flat iron. Once toasted, prepare the bottom bun with a wipe of Miracle Whip + Texas Pete, and a couple pickles. On the top, a dab of ketchup and mustard – a little goes a long way.
When the pan or flat top is sufficiently preheated, add a pad of butter and follow it immediately with a “pinch” of chopped onion. Directly on top of the onion, place one of the 1/4lb balls of ground beef and smash it flat with a sturdy, unperforated spatula. (It helps to have the bottom of the spatula lightly buttered to help it release). Repeat this process with the remaining balls of Prestige® ground beef. Most pans will handle two at a time; if you’re using a flat top, you can take on all 4 patties at once….let your conscience be your guide…
As soon as you begin to see fluid migrating to the top side of the patty, it’s time to flip. Cooking the second side will go quickly, so within a minute or so of flipping, add the American cheese and allow it to melt. Temp the patty with a digital thermometer. A proper thermometer should read with just the tip inserted in the patty. Once the temp reaches 150F, it’s time to stack the patties – orient them so the cheese side is up on both patties, then place the stack on the bottom bun, and top it with the top bun and serve with your favorite side. If you’re lucky enough to be at Cousin Steve-O’s place for this special treat…that side will likely be Cottage Cheese dusted with chili powder…and maybe some Cheetos, if he’s feeling frisky…which is commonly the case.